Day 5 – Civil Affairs Office, again….

Today started off perfect!!  Miss Mollie or XiuXiu as we are calling her, was happy and wonderful and eating and drinking and it really seemed like we had turn a corner……then

About an hour after waking up, the wave of sadness hit again.

She was inconsolable.  It was heartbreaking to watch…..again.

She will only go to Jeremy and wants nothing to do with me.

I understand this, I expected this.  But it doesn’t make it easier.

Mollie is precious though.  When we saw her this morning, just a bit of her personality came through and she is precious.

Jeremy is in love with his new daughter.

Since we were right smack dab in the middle of a breakdown, we had to leave to go back to the Civil Affairs office to finalize the papers for Mollie’s passport.  Guess what I forgot…..the paperwork!!

I had grabbed everything else under the sun, but not the packet from Lifeline that said Provincial paperwork!!

Good news….we didn’t need anything out of it!!  Our guide had gotten everything out yesterday!!

Thank you Lord for watching out for me!!  He is faithful in the big things and small.

Remind me later that I said that because I will probably need to be reminded often of that fact.  🙂

At the Civil Affairs office, we signed our names about 100 times and placed a red thumbprint on top of them.

We were asked several questions, why do we want to adopt from China?  Do we know about Molllie’s special need?

And the last, probably most important question, do we want to adopt Mollie??

They ask you this after you’ve had your child for 24 hours.  Although she is grieving hard and cries 80% of our day, I can not imagine telling them no.  We love this girl.  She’s our daughter.  She’s a sister.

I cried when I answered that question earlier today and I’m crying again tonight as I remember it.

Mollie was asleep almost the whole time we were there.  She is a trooper.

This afternoon we went to a Children’s Park they have in Taiyuan with our friends Hubert and Vicki Keller.  It was nice, but not a ton for grieving children to do!

We ate lunch at KFC and that was an adventure just telling them what we wanted to order!!

No one, and I repeat, no one in Taiyuan speaks English!!  And there’s 4 million people!!

Ok, that’s probably an exaggeration, but it truly felt that way today.

We got back to the hotel and the breakdown started again.  Jeremy took her in the kid’s room for over 2 hours and this poor girl just cried and cried.  She keeps saying Mama Aiuyuan.  (That’s phonetically spelled out, so I’m sure it’s incorrect!!)

She loved her foster grandma deeply.  That I am sure.  I do not speak Chinese, but I can understand that phrase.

She was loved deeply.  That I am still so grateful for.  This girl is devastated.  It breaks my heart to think about.

Jeremy said he and Mollie had a few moments.  I took that to mean, God moments.

He talked to her, sang to her, held her, and just loved on her.

He told her what a beautiful girl she is and how much she is loved.

What a great Dad.  He has been the backbone of this trip and I think I’m more in love with this man now than the day we met.

When Jeremy came back in the room, she went to Kennedy.

Kennedy….let me tell you something about this girl…..she is fabulous!!!

Kennedy held Mollie and rocked her and stroked her back saying everything will be ok.

I came over to see if I could help, and Kennedy was crying.

I asked her why and she told me she felt so sorry for Mollie.  That she gets why Mollie is having such a hard time.

She’s lost everything.

Breaks my heart again as I remember today.  My precious daughter’s sitting together in a chair….one consoling the other one and knowing what pain she is in.

She wasn’t upset with Mollie for crying, she just doesn’t want her to be sad.

We both played with her and Kennedy got the brilliant idea to see what might be on Netflix.

Guess what was on…..Barney!!  I haven’t watched Barney in years!!!

Guess who loved it?  As soon as Mollie saw it, she instantly stopped crying and watched about 40 minutes of it and fell asleep.

I told Kennedy, she is a genius!!

Taylor is probably not feeling great.  Taiyuan is a very smoggy city and his allergies are going crazy!!  And our sleep patterns are horrible!!!  He was in bed tonight about 6!!

He is wonderful with Mollie.  His heart breaks when he sees her cry.

When Jeremy came back in the room, he didn’t pick Mollie up quick enough and Taylor reminded him that she needs comfort right now.  Made this Mama’s heart very proud of this boy.  I know all the crying is probably driving him crazy, but he is such a great big brother.  He loves Mollie, you can see it.

He wants her to be happy and not feel this deep sorrow.

I on the other hand, am getting a cold.  I’ve sneezed about 1,000 times today and my throat is raw!  My sinus are clogged and I just don’t feel well.

As I type this I’m drinking some very hot tea.  Wish I had lemon and honey.  🙁

Continue to pray for us.

Pray for Mollie.

I found out earlier tonight that we will meet her foster family tomorrow at 2 in our hotel lobby.

I’m so happy and nervous.

I’m not going to let Mollie go with us, I know that sounds awful, but for her poor heart, I just can’t.

She must have meant so very much to her family if they are willing to meet us.

I know if they could have adopted this precious girl, they would have.

So pray for her foster family.

I know they are hurting.

I hurt for them.

Started out as a very good morning!! She is wrapped in the blanket we brought! She LOVES this thing!!

Sorry for the “fuzziness” of my pics!!  I still don’t know how to use my camera apparently!!  🙂  BTW, if they are not fuzzy, they were probably taken by Taylor!!

SWe have pj’s for this girl, but she is a oven!! So all she is wearing is a pull up! Which she didn’t need! She woke up about 3 am to go to the bathroom!!

At the Civil Affairs office putting a red thumb print over my signed name!!

Daddy multi-tasking….signing his name, putting a red thumb print over his name, while still holding our precious Peanut!!

The orphanage gave us this beautiful scroll as a gift. We also received a hand-painted fan from one of the officials. Her husband is an artist. I truly felt blessed today!

This is a “yogurt” type drink that Mollie LOVES!! Her foster Grandma gave us a bag full of XiuXiu’s favorites!! So thankful for this woman!

Kennedy’s first time to “hold” Mollie! They were both taken with each other and now Jeremy has someone else Mollie will go to. 🙂 Thankful for these girls!! 🙂

All 3 of my kids together!! This was a beautiful scene. Kennedy rubbing Mollie’s back reassuring her and Taylor rubbing her arm and hair. Love these 3!! Priceless!!


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11 Responses
  1. Maryann says:

    I have been waiting for this post!! We had a very simular issue with Bella. She did not go to me for 9 days! Just keep doing what you are doing. Oh, one thing we did with Bella was if she wanted to eat, or drink she would get the food from me. Of course, she was 10 months old but figured out quickly who had the food!

    I am so glad your kids are with you to help. Our thoughts and prayers are with you!

  2. Pam says:

    Poor little Mollie, I pray that things gets easier for her once you get her here and she gets a different scenery and gets to play with Taylor and Kennedy. It would be hard to make a big change like that but I believe that someday she will thank you for getting her. I am still praying and like I said I think Pastor Jeremy has a new preaching pal!! I am sure it will take her a while to want to go to Sunday School so I will wait patiently. God Please help little Mollie today and give her happiness in her little heart and let her have a break through that makes her happy to be with her new family and let the tears turn to joy and happiness I pray. Amen. I love you all and am praying every day for you all. Love Pam

  3. Sara Derscheid says:

    Continuing to pray!! And I do not think you are mean not to take Mollie. I was very relieved to see that sentence following the one saying you were going to meet the foster family =) We keep imagining Megyn in Mollie’s place and how she would react…

  4. Trish Bogan says:

    All I can say – Taylor and Kennedy are awesome (but I’ve known that for years)! Sounds like a cliche, but – It will get better! See you when you get back.

  5. Melissa Gilhousen says:

    Oh Heidi I cried all the way through this!!! You and Jeremy have so much love! The kids are great I am sure she will do just fine!!! It will take time!!! You know the song ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!!! Sending prayers your way for everyone!!! Oh and i have Barney tapes if you need them they was Lindsey’s!!! Love you guys

  6. kim Myers says:

    Just a thought. When we adopted Annie kate last Nov an adoption consultant told us as hard as it may be that taking her back to her care givers is a good idea. She said that the child needs closure and to see, hear and know that her original care givers are on board with her going with you. Other wise she may spend a life time wondering why they didn’t come get her or that they must be trying to find her.
    It worked very well for us.
    God bless and good luck!

  7. Liz newell says:

    I LOVE YOU GUYS,,My heart is breaking for you and wishing I could be there to comfort. I could not imagine no other child being so loved in her time of need. The Lord new Mollie was your baby from the start and she has the best brother and sister anyone could ask for. Tomarrow is a new day,,,A day the Lord has made…it will get better…Love you so much,

  8. Tracy Baber says:

    I know it is tough but , one day she will say what I lived in china…..? Tough road but treasures in the end.

  9. rajeana says:

    love y’all….*hugs* , prayers, n praise all sent your way!

  10. It makes me so happy and sad to see this post!!! So happy that she is finally in your arms, yet so sad for her little mourning heart. I can’t imagine the pain that she is in, but of all laps to fall into… Yeah, she’s in great hands! I am praying for you guys!!!!! Shalom peace be with you!

  11. Heather says:

    I am crying after reading this. It brings back memories that are still, 2 1/2 years later, difficult to face. My daughter latched onto me rather than my husband, but that didn’t make it “easy.” I could not leave her sight, not to use the restroom, without crying. And my daughter, too, kept going to the door the first day, putting on her hat, pointing at the doorknob, and asking for “mama.” Broke. My. Heart. It does get better. I believe she will heal and learn to trust again. But if you are like me, you will never be quite the same afterwards.

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