First, let me say to everyone that has sent us emails, posts on FB, comments on this blog…..
You are a ROCK to me!!! I am so grateful for all of your kind and encouraging words!!
I have needed them all!!
You will never know what you have meant to us on this journey.
There are so many of you and I haven’t been able to respond to anyone!!! So please forgive me!!
But I do read them and I so very much appreciate them!!
Also, we feel your prayers!! Keep saying them because God is moving!!
Ok, on to the details of the day…..because I know that’s why you’re here…!!
Well, really it’s the pictures of my beautiful family, but I tell myself you like reading my words too!! 🙂
This morning started well. Mollie woke up happy for about a second and then started crying…..:(
Taylor, Kennedy, and I just started playing with each other and the things in our room.
We just never looked at her or paid any attention to her.
As the kids were playing, she would stop and look at them.
So we were able to distract her somewhat this morning.
Her Foster Family was coming to our hotel lobby at 2. So we had to get ready for them.
I had told my adoption friends on FB, that we were meeting Mollie’s family today, but were not going to let her see them.
I had several responses from these precious, precious friends that we SHOULD allow this.
They had and were so glad they did.
I began to talk to Jeremy about this and Taylor was completely against it. He didn’t want to see Mollie in anymore pain.
We knew it would be HARD again when they left, but we knew that adoption was NOT the easy road to adding to your family.
I told Jeremy the emotions I was experiencing with all of this was probably much, much harder than my labor pains!! I would take labor pains anyday over the emotional toll this has!
Jeremy and I both decided it was the right thing to do. To let Mollie see them one last time.
It was probably one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made.
You’re about to bring the greatest joy to your daughter, and then the greatest sorrow.
But she needed to see Foster Grandma be o.k. with her forever family.
So it was decided, I was set.
I cried like I’ve never cried before. I’m crying as I remember it.
My heart was broken and this was the most unselfish thing I knew we could ever do for Mollie.
She wouldn’t take anything from us, so we would give her one thing that we knew she wanted.
We read from Jeremy’s daily Bible plan, we NEEDED to hear from God.
It was Romans 13.
“Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended. 4 For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.” Romans 13:1-5
This was not really the word I was looking for, but we accepted it and went on.
Kennedy and I went to the lobby first, then, after I asked the family and officials about them seeing Mollie again, I would send her up to get Dad and Mollie.
Our guide was there and I asked her…..
She said no.
The family came in, Foster Grandma, Foster Grandpa, Mama, and MeiMei (little sister).
I cried the minute I saw them. They cried when they saw me. It was heartbreaking again.
Then the officials and the orphanage representatives came in and I asked again.
They said no.
We sat down in the lobby and started to talk, and I asked again.
The family really wanted to. I do not speak Chinese, but I know when our guide translated what I said, I knew their answer.
The officials said no.
So other than just bringing her down to the lobby, I had my answer.
I would be “subject to the governing authorities”.
I sent Kennedy back to the room and Jeremy came down, alone.
As he sat down, we all started to cry again.
I had asked a few questions and had showed them pictures from my camera of Mollie from the last few days.
Of course, she’s not smiling because she is so sad.
I told her family that she was sad and that she missed them very much.
She keeps saying Mama Aiuyuan over and over again.
I was informed, that is not the Mama’s name as I had first thought…..
It was Mama’s name and then her MeiMei’s name.
Again, my heart was broken. She is calling out for her Foster Grandma and little sister.
That made so much sense now….she was like a twin. Her little sister is not much younger than her.
They’ve been together their whole lives.
We asked them if they would have like to adopted her, but because of the 1 child policy, they can not.
But I truly believe they would have in a heartbeat. This child is so very special to them.
Before they left we took pictures and gave gifts.
They brought this beautiful dress for Mollie.
It is her Princess dress. I was humbled and so grateful.
We have a picture from the family of her in it.
I gave to Grandma a silver bracelet with a heart and Jing Xiu’s name engraved on it.
We also gave the family a Chinese Fire Bible that we had written some very special words on the inside cover.
We did ask if this was ok, and we were told it was.
The family then asked if they could see Mollie from a distance.
That was ok’d by everyone and they went onto the balcony level of the lobby.
Jeremy went and got Mollie.
When he came down he walked into view to where they could see her one last time.
She kept her head turned the whole time away from them.
She had no idea they were there. They could have called out her name. They did not.
They respected the authority put over them as well.
We stayed there for several minutes and I looked up and them, they were crying.
Everyone was crying…..family, officials, and the guides.
It was truly the hardest, most difficult thing I’ve ever experienced.
But this was the only closure we would be able to get.
We did get their home address, phone numbers, and email address.
They wrote me a beautiful note and asked that we would take care of this precious girl.
I informed them I was going to hang their picture in my home so Mollie would always know who loved her first.
I was a basketcase. I left, came to the room and sobbed.
I prayed fervently for a breakthrough for this child that God had given me.
We left the hotel and walked to the park. Mollie did well, really starting to take in the sights around her.
We stayed at the park for a couple of hours and just soaked in her heritage.
She slept, we walked, we ate a banana popsicle. It was a lovely afternoon.
We stopped at McDonald’s and got a couple of cheeseburgers on the way back because no one had eaten all day!
Emotional roller-coasters will do that to you!!
We got back to the hotel….Jeremy stayed in the lobby with Mollie while the kids and I came to the room to clean up.
While Jeremy and Mollie were downstairs, he sat down with her. She got up, started walking around, and eating part of Jeremy’s cheesburger!!
She informed Baba she needed to use the bathroom, and she walked there with him!!
She walked people!! That is huge!! Up to this point she has to be carried everywhere!!
Thank God I was so smart and purchased a Ergo carrier before we left!! Best. Purchase.
If you don’t have one, get one.
Well, that’s if you’re child is small enough!! 🙂
Jeremy said he started tickling her, and she was laughing!!
Laughing people!! That again is huge!!
He and Mollie had a few more moments….some very precious moments and I’m so thankful for them!!
We met our guide and the 2 other families at 6 to go to dinner to an authentic Chinese restaurant.
The food was delicious and cheap! We had our guide Anna sit and eat with us and I paid just a little over $20 to feed 6 people, and this is in a NICE restaurant!!
The greatest thing about our meal was not the food, it was our Mollie.
She got off of Jeremy’s lap and stood up.
Not only that, she initiated play time!!
I brought stackable cups and the girl LOVED them!!
She played with her sunglasses. She played with her Pleasant Goat windmill we bought at the park.
I sat taking pictures of this momentous occasion, and of course, I cried!!
She did not cry, she smiled. She had fun.
She held Jeremy’s hand and walked to the bathroom.
She is such a trooper!! She is an absolute doll that I am so thankful for!!
We got back to the hotel lobby, and we just stayed out there with the other families and let the children play.
She started interacting with the other little girl, JinJin. It was slow at first, but it was happening!
She started interacting with Taylor and Kennedy!! So awesome to see this!!
Now, she still wants nothing to do with me, but that’s ok. That will come.
Her heart is beginning to mend and I will take every small victory that is given to me!!
When we came to the room, she started to cry again, but it quickly stopped and she fell asleep on Baba’s chest.
This girl is precious.
She has been through so much in her 3 short years, but I believe that what the enemy stole from her, God will repay.
Her years with us will make up for what she lost.
She is and will be loved fiercely and fervently.
She is and will be protected and cherished.
Why wouldn’t she be, she is my daughter.
She is not of my flesh, but she is of my heart.
I do not believe I could love this girl anymore than if I birthed her.
I love my children, all 3 of them dearly. My Mama’s heart is full. 🙂
BTW, do not let these pictures fool you….
The families sitting behind Jeremy and Mollie are the other adoptive families.
We are the ONLY Americans in Taiyuan!!
And there are 4 million people in this city!! 🙂